How to Build More Intentional Relationships

Insiders, grab a notebook. How many of the people in your life are there by choice, by chance, or by circumstance? Reflect on what percentage of your relationships belong to each category and explore your insights. Who do you choose to include in your life and why? Are there any commonalities? 

The relationships we have with others define many key aspects of our life experience, and if we are set on building a life of intention, our relationships should reflect that to some degree. These connections create the environment from which we grow and learn from, and though chance and circumstance might shape a part of that, you need to remember that you also have control over who you engage with. The kinds of relationships that grow alongside you, ground you, and expand your ways of thinking are formed through time, but they also depend on how you approach cultivating those connections. This week, we share 5 tips that can help you form bonds that are more aligned with who you are and where you are going:

 

1. Have an intimate relationship with yourself. 

The cornerstone of intentional relationships is deep self-understanding. Being aware of who you are, what you want, and how you operate is essential to developing connections that are in alignment with you, so ensure that you reflect on your values and priorities – doing this is key to forming connections rooted in purpose.  

2. Actively participate in your hobbies and explore your interests.

What do you love doing? What experiences would you want to share with others? Knowing this is an essential step towards creating relationships that align with who you are and what you value, and in the digital age, you don’t have to rely on your physical location to form those connections.  For example, if you are passionate about self-growth and personal development, you can join online communities like J2J to connect with other like-minded individuals and have a community of people to learn and grow with on your self-discovery journey.    

3. Prioritize depth of communication over frequency.

Bonds that develop out of proximity or convenience might give you a sense of connection with others, but they rarely create lasting or fulfilling relationships. Carve out time to connect with people one-on-one so that you can move past surface-level relationships and build stronger ties to those around you. 

4. Ask more questions.

The information that you need in order to properly define and navigate your relationship with another person won’t always be found in regular small talk. Don’t be afraid to dig deep and ask questions early on that will let you know more about how a person thinks and feels about topics that matter to you. Coming up with those questions on your own might be difficult, but the Essential Moments Journal has several prompts that can help you with that conversation. One of our favorite ones is: “How do you want to be remembered?” 

5. Be present. 

See the person in front of you for who they are and what they do – not for who you think they have been or who you think they will be. Our brains will form narratives in an attempt to protect us and prepare us for the unexpected, but don’t jump to conclusions (good or bad) without due reason. The present moment is where your relationships exist –  pay close attention to what you encounter in your real life interactions with others. 

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